Sunday, November 21, 2010
Don't Say You Can't!
Around here, most know my thoughts on saying "I can't", I repeatedly tell my children from very young, that they are not to be saying these words. The older children of course, don't need to be reminded as much. Since my firstborn was very young I remember telling him of his great potential, and that he could do anything he set his mind to. Anytime my children were feeling something was too difficult for them to do, this is the first thing that would come to mind. Anyone saying “I can't” would not go unnoticed. I usually would tell my children "don't say ‘you can't’! You can say,’ it's very hard/ difficult,’ or I won't, but ‘not I can't’!" Of course none of my children actually never said ‘I won't’, but they knew what I meant.
Some years ago I checked out a library book about how boys and girls learn differently. As I read it I noticed something very interesting. The book said something about the way our brain functions. Basically it was saying that when a person says they can't, there is a reaction in the brain that causes it to lock in a sense. In other words, after having said this, it sort of becomes truth. Ah, this is something I've believed all along; I was glad to find it, and had to share this with the kids!
One outstanding thing, which I love about my husband, is that he does anything he sets his mind to. There doesn't seem to be anything he won't do once he's made up his mind. This is something that I wish my children would all learn too. As my kids are growing, the result from this way of thinking is become more and more evident. Things that I didn't know and didn't teach my kids, they figured how to teach themselves. My oldest is doing very well in math and has learned, most of it on his own. He has taken on learning guitar on his own, as well. My second-born, is pretty much on the same track when it comes to math. She has, also, taught herself knitting, crochet, and anything else that interests her. My third-born has decided to teach herself piano, which of course I know nothing about! I'm glad to say she is sounding pretty good for someone learning without an instructor. The rest, I'm hoping, will follow in the same way.
My words to my children continue to be the same on this subject. I tell them, that “they can do anything they want”. That they must strive to do their best for Hashem's honor and glory. They're learning about taking the responsibility to do things for the benefit of others, and that is one of the main reasons for learning. My job, then is to be not so much a teacher as is commonly thought of, but more precisely a mom that is always available for encouragement, to give words of direction, and to teach them how to teach themselves. My task is creating independent learners. My goal is that my children will love the L-rd their G-D with all their heart, soul, and resources. Let them, then continue learning and later bring their talents to serve our L-rd.
Wisdom begins in awe of the L-rd; all who fulfill (His commandments) gain good understanding; His praise is everlasting. The Torah Moses commanded us is the heritage of the congregation of Jacob.
Shema beni musar avicha v'al titosh torat imecha...
Listen, my son, to your father's instruction, and do not forsake your mother's teaching.
May the Torah be my faith and Almighty G-D my help. Blessed be the name of His glorious kingdom forever and all time.
-From our Daily Prayer Book