Of Raising Children

When it comes  to children I consider myself far from being an expert. So when my daughter asked me to right a book on raising children, I chuckled at the idea. I know, I have a family which many may consider big and this definitely results in many opportunities for learning; yet while I think, that the time I have invested in my family has taught me many things, there's so much I've yet to learn. My thoughts at this moment, are toward the younger moms out there.Those struggling through those first years and even through the later years. If I could take this opportunity I'd like to just share some of the things I've learned. 

The years spent raising a family seem to have passed rather quickly. Never did I imagined that I'd have a family of eleven children. The fact that I have been able to be a stay-at-home raising a family has been such an amazing blessing in my life. Many lessons have been learned; sometimes through mistakes and others through success brought about by the godly and wise examples in my life. 

More than anything I want to advise young mothers, to make the best of these years. Don't do things without first considering the consequences. What I mean to say, is that when it comes to children, you can never afford to take things lightly. What can seem unimportant  at the present time, can affect your child in unimaginable ways. We as mothers can influence by building up and encouraging; or if not careful our treatment of our children can quickly become a source of discouragement. 

Taking time to try and see life through a child's eyes can be key in successful upbringing. It's the little things that make a difference with time when there is consistency. It's always best to put other things aside when possible. Your child needs to know how important they are to you. This is not to mean that you give in and spoil in any way. Instead, what this means, is that we need to listen. Investing time not only to teach our children but to play with them as well and taking time to work on their diverse interests, is necessary.

One important goal we should have is our relationship with them. Not only would it matter to have them know we love them, but that we actually want to foster a relationship of mutual love, respect, and something along the lines of a discipleship. We need to consider this an immense investment. This is very much a matter of sowing and reaping.

I will stop writing for now, but will continue with the topic as I find more time. As I write this post, I am about a month and a half from giving birth to our twelfth blessing. This is a joyful and exciting time for me, and I hope to make more time to share more posts.

Happily,
Blessed@home

The Dreaded Struggle with Reading

   Homeschooling may be more of a challenge on some days than others. With the difference in learning styles among other factors, finding a teaching method that works for both student and teacher can be difficult at times. Despite any difficulties and challenges that may arise from the task before us, we can be sure that we can certainly succeed with the help of perseverance and dedication. Naturally every child can have different strengths and weaknesses which will need to be identified. There may be a child that is especially quick at learning new things and with a gifted memory, while another may seem to struggle and present an uncooperative attitude.

   

    I believe that with the several homeschooled children I've worked with, I've had my share of challenges. As a matter of fact, I once found myself in a situation where all hope seemed to be lost. My child was uncooperative and miserable on a daily basis. I'm not sure how I got through those days, all I remember is they seemed to go on forever. At the same time I was also teaching the opposite type of student, which only made things appear to be worse than they really were with my struggling learner. Time did pass by though, and struggle as we were, we continued on our homeschooling endeavor. The days were long and difficult, as at the time I was also raising toddlers and pregnant for the most. My child was in tears each and every day, and basically any time we were working on any kind of formal reading, writing, or arithmetic exercises. While I can't give much details on how we overcame our challenges, I would like to give a word of hope to any struggling parent trying to homeschool with similar challenges. One thing that I will tell you is DON'T DESPAIR! There is always hope and without a doubt, light at the end of the tunnel! Success is all the sweeter when it's something you've worked hard and longed for all along. This time of struggles were a learning time for both my child and me. It definitely was a lesson in patience for me; I can tell you that much. 

   We continued studying and though it may seem illogical, I never tried to water down our lessons or making them any simpler; if anything, we constantly reached for higher goals. Naturally, there had to be much encouragement along the way. I had to not only convince my child of the certainty of success, but I had to believe it myself first. We read and eventually the tears stopped. We mastered the basic math concepts with even greater ease. Little by little we moved forward making progress as the days and months went by. Today this once struggling student is unrecognizable. Not only did reading become bearable but it's become somewhat of a hobby as reading is done voluntarily and even for pleasure. I can honestly say this is my ideal kind of student. My child did not only learn what we aimed for, but embraced learning as a goal and a way of life. This days, when I need help on proofreading any kind of writing guess whom I turn to. Even when I need to refresh my memory concerning any math concept I'm covering with my other children, my once struggling learner is there to the rescue.

   I've got to admit, that I'm far from being the best teacher. I don't have all the answers and I'm still learning and trying to improve my teaching skills. Every chance I get, I want to learn from good teachers and their methods. At the moment I'm happy to say, I'm in the middle of reading Teach Like Your Hair is on Fire after having just finished There are No Shortcuts which are both a great inspiration to me. There is no special method that I follow, just a desire to be there for my children and watch them succeed. I may do a lousy job at times, while have great days on others, but my focus is not on the immediate results. My goal is to do the job I've been called to as helpmeet, mother, and teacher; hopefully to the best of my ability. If you find yourself struggling or desiring to give up, remember there is hope, and sometimes the first kids to be labeled are the very ones to prove to excel among the rest. I would encourage you to read about Einstein's childhood.   Even when every child is not necessarily a genius, we can know that they are teachable and that we can reach our goals.  So don't give up and most of all don't lose sight of why you began homeschooling in the first place. Remember that success is waiting right around the corner.

One Godly Woman’s Legacy

My life has been touched by some very special people. I want this post to focus on one whom is no longer with us. One of the persons which has impacted my life the most, was  a godly woman. She was a woman of faith which was actually an encouragement to my own mother. While my parents grew up secular for the most part without a particular creed or religion, they did believe in the existence of G-d. This woman whom I will call Mary, made it her personal responsibility to share the Word with my mom. She constantly invited my mom to church, and when my mom was too busy to attend, she would ask if in her place she would send my older sisters. This woman never gave up, nor would she be turned away so easily by rejection. She was an amazing woman, always showing concern for the wellbeing of others.
Mary’s story was one of triumph. Her young years were filled with sorrow and sadness, but she never let that determine her destiny. She could have blamed outer circumstances as reason for bitterness and resentment. Instead she rose above it all and became the amazing woman who touched the lives of many. Mary grew up with a determined attitude. She knew what she wanted in life, and she fought for what she valued.
This woman had a family of five children. The oldest around my mom’s age. So the gap in age between her and me was quite a large one. For many years I only heard from her occasionally. Running into her and every now and then, we would exchange a few brief words. At the time around my engagement, something changed drastically. I found myself visiting her almost on a daily basis. It was during those visits, that I got to know her in a more personal way.
She was always welcoming and greeted me with a smile every time I came by. Usually during my visits, she would share things about herself with me. There were times that she would pull out a notebook of poems she had written and share them with me. Other times we would sit and just talk about things such as faith and family. The talks were always so interesting and lively, being that besides so much knowledge she had a good sense of humor as well. She would answer my many questions, as I sat there in awe at the wisdom of this elderly woman. I’m not certain whether  she realized an admiration on my part. Mary was a humble woman and many times wondered out loud why I would take the time to visit with her. Maybe it was the fact that I was in my late teen years coupled by the large difference in years between us that made her wonder. Yet she was always grateful and appreciative of my visits.
What I find so remarkable about this woman, is the fruitfulness of her life. She always shared her faith with the people she met along the way. And the thing I now wished I would have asked her about, is one that has constantly been on my mind. Three of her children which were her sons, the other two were daughters, went on to become ministers. One of them actually was the one that conducted my wedding ceremony. How, I wonder, did she raise her children. I know of her children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren; they have continued in the faith even many years after her passing away.
The impact this woman had is one I wish I had, at least on my descendants. It’s not so much the fact that she raised three ministers,  that is the most admirable. What left an impression on me is the fact that she taught her children well. How many times in Scripture we read of a new generation that did not know G-d.
^{7 “}And the people served the LORD all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders that outlived Joshua, who had seen all the great works of the LORD, that he did for Israel.
⁸And Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the LORD, died, being an hundred and ten years old.
⁹And they buried him in the border of his inheritance in Timnathheres, in the mount of Ephraim, on the north side of the hill Gaash.
¹⁰And also all that generation were gathered unto their fathers: and there arose another generation after them, which knew not the LORD, nor yet the works which he had done for Israel.
¹¹And the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD, and served Baalim:
¹²And they forsook the LORD God of their fathers, which brought them out of the land of Egypt, and followed other gods, of the gods of the people that were round about them, and bowed themselves unto them, and provoked the LORD to anger.
¹³And they forsook the LORD, and served Baal and Ashtaroth.”  Judges 2:7-13
It’s heartbreaking to think that G-d’s children would not walk in his ways because the previous generation had failed in teaching their children. This is something I’m constantly repeating to my own children and one of the main reasons we chose to home-school. I pray Hashem gives me the wisdom and diligence to teach my children so that my future descendants will continue to love, serve Him, and walk in his ways.
This is a lesson I get from the Patriarchs. They took such special care to transmit what they valued (the fear of Hashem and love of His Word) to the following generations that even to this day they’re still baring fruit. How amazing is that! We read about Abraham:
^{19 “}For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.” Genesis 18:19 
Mary knew the importance of teaching the next generation too. She was diligent and loving, and while I may never know how she raised her children, I can to this day see how effective she was. She was a successful woman in my opinion. May Hashem grant us all, that love Him and are seeking to serve Him, the effectiveness in transmitting to the future generations the fear of the True and Living G-d. May he strengthen us and give us a vision to see past our immediate circumstances and instead focus on what counts to eternity.

What about mentoring?

As a daughter to a widow that was always working and struggling to provide for the family, I grew up pretty much on my own. One thing I'm very grateful about, is the fact that my mother never gave up on trying to do what was best for us and always did strive to draw us close to G-d. Amid the struggles she was there, an amazing woman that to me deserves all the respect and love in the world. But due to her need to work and make ends meet, she was absent much of the time as I recall growing up. As a young lady and specially as a newlywed, I missed the wise words of counsel. I lacked direction in many ways. Only by G-d's grace was I able to find comfort, purpose, and the direction I badly needed. As I grew more and more in the knowledge and faith of our L-rd, did I realize that it would have been much better if I could have had the opportunity of a mentor. I didn't think it in such words, but I remember telling one of my sisters that I would have appreciated it so if someone had taken the time to share with me about their experience and knowledge in light of G-d's Word. It is because of my own personal struggles and the difficulties needed to overcome, that I have a special heart for others finding themselves down that same road. What ever happened to mentoring? This I wondered about at times. I'm thankful that I see more and more people aware of the need and benefits of mentoring. I myself am trying to serve and do what I can by mentoring at this time. Not only should we be practicing this within our families, but at some point of our lives we may meet someone that we can help along the way down a path we have already taken. As I see it, Something we have learned is something we can share! I pray for the wisdom to see and help others in need, and encourage others to do likewise.
May our walk be one of wholehearted love for HaShem and also a love for those He has created.