Of Raising Children

When it comes  to children I consider myself far from being an expert. So when my daughter asked me to right a book on raising children, I chuckled at the idea. I know, I have a family which many may consider big and this definitely results in many opportunities for learning; yet while I think, that the time I have invested in my family has taught me many things, there's so much I've yet to learn. My thoughts at this moment, are toward the younger moms out there.Those struggling through those first years and even through the later years. If I could take this opportunity I'd like to just share some of the things I've learned. 

The years spent raising a family seem to have passed rather quickly. Never did I imagined that I'd have a family of eleven children. The fact that I have been able to be a stay-at-home raising a family has been such an amazing blessing in my life. Many lessons have been learned; sometimes through mistakes and others through success brought about by the godly and wise examples in my life. 

More than anything I want to advise young mothers, to make the best of these years. Don't do things without first considering the consequences. What I mean to say, is that when it comes to children, you can never afford to take things lightly. What can seem unimportant  at the present time, can affect your child in unimaginable ways. We as mothers can influence by building up and encouraging; or if not careful our treatment of our children can quickly become a source of discouragement. 

Taking time to try and see life through a child's eyes can be key in successful upbringing. It's the little things that make a difference with time when there is consistency. It's always best to put other things aside when possible. Your child needs to know how important they are to you. This is not to mean that you give in and spoil in any way. Instead, what this means, is that we need to listen. Investing time not only to teach our children but to play with them as well and taking time to work on their diverse interests, is necessary.

One important goal we should have is our relationship with them. Not only would it matter to have them know we love them, but that we actually want to foster a relationship of mutual love, respect, and something along the lines of a discipleship. We need to consider this an immense investment. This is very much a matter of sowing and reaping.

I will stop writing for now, but will continue with the topic as I find more time. As I write this post, I am about a month and a half from giving birth to our twelfth blessing. This is a joyful and exciting time for me, and I hope to make more time to share more posts.

Happily,
Blessed@home

It's late at night and I'm about to turn in. Had to put my baby to sleep, which I don't normally do. Usually, she just goes to sleep with her big sis (my second-born). Today, her big sister is out of town. My mom recently had cataract surgery, and my daughter, volunteered to go take care of her for a few days. I wish I could have gone myself, but can't leave the rest of my kids at this time. I am immensely grateful though, to see my daughter's eagerness to serve and know that love for her grandma is what motivated her. Also my son (4th born) wished to go and help. They are both there, and I missed them so much, but am glad my mom will enjoy their company; plus she'll have some nice home cooked meals made by her grandchildren. Tonight I'm feeling so blessed! Blessed be Hashem, that has allowed me the privilege of raising a family, that is learning more about serving others and putting into practice acts of chesed.

The Dreaded Struggle with Reading

   Homeschooling may be more of a challenge on some days than others. With the difference in learning styles among other factors, finding a teaching method that works for both student and teacher can be difficult at times. Despite any difficulties and challenges that may arise from the task before us, we can be sure that we can certainly succeed with the help of perseverance and dedication. Naturally every child can have different strengths and weaknesses which will need to be identified. There may be a child that is especially quick at learning new things and with a gifted memory, while another may seem to struggle and present an uncooperative attitude.

   

    I believe that with the several homeschooled children I've worked with, I've had my share of challenges. As a matter of fact, I once found myself in a situation where all hope seemed to be lost. My child was uncooperative and miserable on a daily basis. I'm not sure how I got through those days, all I remember is they seemed to go on forever. At the same time I was also teaching the opposite type of student, which only made things appear to be worse than they really were with my struggling learner. Time did pass by though, and struggle as we were, we continued on our homeschooling endeavor. The days were long and difficult, as at the time I was also raising toddlers and pregnant for the most. My child was in tears each and every day, and basically any time we were working on any kind of formal reading, writing, or arithmetic exercises. While I can't give much details on how we overcame our challenges, I would like to give a word of hope to any struggling parent trying to homeschool with similar challenges. One thing that I will tell you is DON'T DESPAIR! There is always hope and without a doubt, light at the end of the tunnel! Success is all the sweeter when it's something you've worked hard and longed for all along. This time of struggles were a learning time for both my child and me. It definitely was a lesson in patience for me; I can tell you that much. 

   We continued studying and though it may seem illogical, I never tried to water down our lessons or making them any simpler; if anything, we constantly reached for higher goals. Naturally, there had to be much encouragement along the way. I had to not only convince my child of the certainty of success, but I had to believe it myself first. We read and eventually the tears stopped. We mastered the basic math concepts with even greater ease. Little by little we moved forward making progress as the days and months went by. Today this once struggling student is unrecognizable. Not only did reading become bearable but it's become somewhat of a hobby as reading is done voluntarily and even for pleasure. I can honestly say this is my ideal kind of student. My child did not only learn what we aimed for, but embraced learning as a goal and a way of life. This days, when I need help on proofreading any kind of writing guess whom I turn to. Even when I need to refresh my memory concerning any math concept I'm covering with my other children, my once struggling learner is there to the rescue.

   I've got to admit, that I'm far from being the best teacher. I don't have all the answers and I'm still learning and trying to improve my teaching skills. Every chance I get, I want to learn from good teachers and their methods. At the moment I'm happy to say, I'm in the middle of reading Teach Like Your Hair is on Fire after having just finished There are No Shortcuts which are both a great inspiration to me. There is no special method that I follow, just a desire to be there for my children and watch them succeed. I may do a lousy job at times, while have great days on others, but my focus is not on the immediate results. My goal is to do the job I've been called to as helpmeet, mother, and teacher; hopefully to the best of my ability. If you find yourself struggling or desiring to give up, remember there is hope, and sometimes the first kids to be labeled are the very ones to prove to excel among the rest. I would encourage you to read about Einstein's childhood.   Even when every child is not necessarily a genius, we can know that they are teachable and that we can reach our goals.  So don't give up and most of all don't lose sight of why you began homeschooling in the first place. Remember that success is waiting right around the corner.

Why Me?

 
   When things go wrong an expression often heard is, "Why Me?" Whether we had it coming or not makes little difference. We may question in self pity many times, as if saying "What have I done to deserve this?" The attitude may often be that of "I deserve better". Well, I'd like to take on a different approach to this commonly used phrase, and here's a reason why.

   Yesterday I was feeling worn out and extremely exhausted. Perhaps to a great degree the lack of sufficient sleep was the culprit. A poor diet coupled with the long errands of that day only made matters worse. Sometime around 6:00 in the afternoon I was finally free, and ready for a much awaited nap. I turned my TV on to drown out the noise and nestled in my bed. Shortly after this, my 16-year-old walks in with a bowl of food for me. Of course I was pleased and grateful, but I told her I was too tired to eat and all I wanted was to get some rest. Not long after my daughter came, in walked my 10-year-old son with what else, but a bowl of food for mom. I thanked him as well and explained that I'd gladly eat later after taking a nap. Before I went to sleep, I had one more visitor; and of course he was not empty-handed. This time it was my two-year-old. With the sweetest tone and baby voice he called to me, "Here Ima, for you," and handed me a bowl with food. Oh how sweet it is to have such thoughtful children. It fills me with great joy and gratitude.

   As I reflect on things I wonder, "Why me? L-rd why are you so kind to me. I know I don't deserve it." There are so many excellent mothers out there. Some moms are very organized, some are very sweet, other are so much fun to be around, and others excellent cooks or home managers. I don't feel adequate in any of these areas I don't consider myself the virtuous woman I ought to be, though I truly want to be. Yet I'm constantly showered with love and kindness. So much so, that it makes me feel unworthy. At times like this all I can say is, "Thank you L-rd for the many blessings; for the love with which you've surrounded me." I'll always cherish moments like this, and my heart will be full of joy and gratitude.

Don't Say You Can't!

 
Around here, most know my thoughts on saying "I can't", I repeatedly tell my children from very young, that they are not to be saying these words. The older children of course, don't need to be reminded as much. Since my firstborn was very young I remember telling him of his great potential, and that he could do anything he set his mind to. Anytime my children were feeling something was too difficult for them to do, this is the first thing that would come to mind. Anyone saying “I can't” would not go unnoticed. I usually would tell my children "don't say ‘you can't’! You can say,’ it's very hard/ difficult,’ or I won't, but ‘not I can't’!" Of course none of my children actually never said ‘I won't’, but they knew what I meant.


  Some years ago I checked out a library book about how boys and girls learn differently. As I read it I noticed something very interesting. The book said something about the way our brain functions. Basically it was saying that when a person says they can't, there is a reaction in the brain that causes it to lock in a sense. In other words, after having said this, it sort of becomes truth. Ah, this is something I've believed all along; I was glad to find it, and had to share this with the kids!


  One outstanding thing, which I love about my husband, is that he does anything he sets his mind to. There doesn't seem to be anything he won't do once he's made up his mind. This is something that I wish my children would all learn too. As my kids are growing, the result from this way of thinking is become more and more evident. Things that I didn't know and didn't teach my kids, they figured how to teach themselves. My oldest is doing very well in math and has learned, most of it on his own. He has taken on learning guitar on his own, as well. My second-born, is pretty much on the same track when it comes to math. She has, also, taught herself knitting, crochet, and anything else that interests her. My third-born has decided to teach herself piano, which of course I know nothing about! I'm glad to say she is sounding pretty good for someone learning without an instructor. The rest, I'm hoping, will follow in the same way.


  My words to my children continue to be the same on this subject. I tell them, that “they can do anything they want”. That they must strive to do their best for Hashem's honor and glory. They're learning about taking the responsibility to do things for the benefit of others, and that is one of the main reasons for learning. My job, then is to be not so much a teacher as is commonly thought of, but more precisely a mom that is always available for encouragement, to give words of direction, and to teach them how to teach themselves. My task is creating independent learners. My goal is that my children will love the L-rd their G-D with all their heart, soul, and resources. Let them, then continue learning and later bring their talents to serve our L-rd.

Wisdom begins in awe of the L-rd; all who fulfill (His commandments) gain good understanding; His praise is everlasting. The Torah Moses commanded us is the heritage of the congregation of Jacob.

Shema beni musar avicha v'al titosh torat imecha...
Listen, my son, to your father's instruction, and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

 May the Torah be my faith and Almighty G-D my help. Blessed be the name of His glorious kingdom forever and all time.
-From our Daily Prayer Book

Cooking Scarcely in a Large Family

This week I began cooking on more of a regular basis. What I mean by regular is actually daily. As strange as that may sound, for the mother of ten; I will proceed to explain how this has come to be the case around our home. Yes, of course we do have regular meals; although I'm not necessarily the one who prepares them.

The days when I used to cook daily are all a blur now. A faint memory is all that's left. Why and when did I stop cooking? The answer is quite simple really. As our family grew and our home education began to take on more of a formal approach, we began to teach the kids some basic cooking skills. With time they begin experimenting with new recipes. Mostly at the beginning, the cooking was along side mom or dad. But shortly after, the kids were allowed to cook on their own due to their progress in learning.

So many benefits stemmed from this first decision to teach them cooking. To begin with, working with recipe books proved to be an excellent way for learning fractions. All I recall, is one day asking my daughter how she had come up with the correct quantities for doubling or tripling the ingredients. She went on to explain to my amazement how she had added the fractions. She was at the time around six or seven I think. This was such a surprise to me, specially since I had not deliberately introduced her to fractions. Besides learning a necessary skill for life which is great in itself, another added benefit was teaching character; for in preparing meals for others, one also learns to serve. As if this all wasn't enough we had the added benefit of more help to get things done around the house, which is actually pretty terrific.

Cooking and baking has been a natural learning process around my home. My older kids I taught, naturally, However my younger ones mostly picked up this skills from their older siblings. I don't think a week passes by without the younger ones 8-12 baking some cookies, trying a new recipe, or preparing a dessert for Shabbat. I have then come to the conclusion through personal experience that work and education go hand in hand. What an advantage it has been to us, the freedom to teach at home with more of a hands on approach.

To conclude, I'd like to add that I'm proud to say the students have exceeded the teacher. The food the kids help make is always tasty and prepared with such creativity. I want to specially give credit to my two dear daughters. They do an excellent job. I'm glad to think that in this area at least they are preparing well to be future homemakers. And as for the boys, it's great that they can depend on themselves when necessary too. So now I'm off to start my new week preparing dinners, and as crazy as this may seem, I'll be asking for my daughters' input and opinions. It seems to me they have a much better idea when it comes to deciding on the quantities I'll be having to cook. =)

Photography, My Hobby

So, one thing I enjoy to do is take photographs. For this I'm thankful to my dear Hubby since he bought me a new camera this past Hannukah. Here I'm posting some pictures I've taken.